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(Start Loving, the pka for James McGinley)

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4.22.2007

!!!!!!"BREAD SERVED"/THERAPY PER MINUTE!!!!!

See posts below regarding "Bread" and "Mass Therapy."

I've been aching (hmm, intersting choice of words) to begin to see the metrics that can enable us to begin to quantify and thereby optimise our progress toward a global revolution of Brotherhood.

Within the last two days I'm getting my first vague glimpses. Crude yes, but finally something.

I can sit in front of the Embassy and there would be significant impact, and it would be quite pleasant and easy for me - reading, prayer, no or little pain. Impact? h (hours) x n x st = n umber of souls receiving s ignificant t herapy.

I can march the intersection furiously with great pain, no reading, and little prayer. Impact? 8n X 3st = 24 times more impact - ROUGHLY!!!!

Now, this will be interesting to see how I grow or not. H Hours. How much to I let myself sleep and rest - how much do I push myself into pain.

CAN I LEARN TO LOVE THE ELIMINATION OF MY FAMILY'S PAIN (FAMILY I WILL NEVER SEE, FEEL, TOUCH) MORE THAN MY OWN?!!?!?!?!?!

The point? "Unearned suffering [as a natural byproduct of "doing unto the least of these"] is redemptive," said Dr. King. I can control the amount of suffering here. In this case the more hours per day I suffer, the more people I impact per hour. This is a simple fact. How much to I love my Darfur family? Hmmmm. We'll see.

I don't recall ever being afraid of dying. I have since a little child been extremely afraid of suffering. Now, I've sacrificed to the extreme all my adult life - working, dedicating, producing, focusing, being disciplined to the extreme! But this is relatively easy and very fun for me. But physical suffering hour in, hour out, week in, week out, month in... I've never really been faced much with that. I'VE NEVER BEEN FACED WITH THAT! The nausea and weakness of earlier hunger strike days are nothing compared to the pain of the walking now and the consequences when I do have time to sleep at night.

How much "bread" am I willing to be, at what price? Well, I know what Jesus, Beko, King and others were willing and able to be. Start Loving? Hmmmm.

This is great!

Pray for me. Pray for Darfur.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am dear brother praying for you daily

Start Loving said...

This is a deep and profound relief and joy dearest friend. From deep in my soul, thank you. Start