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12.18.2012

Cancer Update - Searching for advice, for a way forward 12.18.12

[To: 

Doc C., Unity Health Care;
P. G., Patient Advocate at Howard Cancer Center;
M., nurse Practitioner Christ House -

Angels in Residence all three]

Dear, dear, dear Friends,

I am totally fine, in every way, well, except the cancer, which itself doesn't concern me much.  I was going to resume my 24 hour per day vigil, in the rain, to avert global ecocide, in front of the Canadian Embassy last night, but I was so knocked off balance by what I learned from cancer doc M. at Howard yesterday that I instead returned to a friends house in Philadelphia where I could have a roof over my head and try to get my bearings and figure out how to move forward.  Yes, sadly, I'm more of a wimp than I wish I were.  But, there it is.

BTW, what I understand from the cancer meeting yesterday is at the end of this email, below.

Expecting to hear 6 WEEKS of chemo, '6 MONTHS, for STARTERS' is what I learned.  Big deal?  This is why it seems to be a big deal for me.  As with my dad before me, I experience that the reason to be alive, and the WAY to be alive, is to Serve our Global Neediest, 7 days a week, every waking moment, and this I've done with ever increasing Joy throughout my life as best I've known to do; and in recent decade "sacrificing" virtually everything material we value in this society so I could serve the populations I was called to serve in the ways they seemed to need from me.  Finally, according to each of the 3500 global phd climate scientists, we have weeks, not years, to finally implement a 6% reduction of fossil fuel emissions, beginning 2013, or rapidly unfolding ecocide will be impossible to ever avert; or at best, averting it will utterly destitute, financially enslave each of the next 200 billion kids born on earth as they try to survive a planet we've near totally destroyed, and turned against them.  2013 is the most pivotal year in human history, and I'm going to be TOTALLY taken out of the fight, for half of it?  This is incomprehensible for me.

So, being homeless, in DC, THANK GOD Christ House, worthy of the name, seems willing to take me in for the 6 months chemo.  But they are necessarily a massively restrictive environment because a large portion of their clients are recovering addicts.  Hence I'd be facing 6 months of total removal from my work - zero internet, zero outside communication, zero ability to study, write, publish - no computer, no online.  And my BODY says YES, go there, the care for my body would be perfect.  But my Spirit says nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!  You must be able to work, those days when you are able!

That's the problem. 

Can you advise me?  If you know of any of the following, or pointers for me to follow up on, please let me know?

1.  Is there a suitable, but less restrictive environment in DC where I'd have a roof over my head, but the ability to be on-line, at least, those days that my body was able?  And maybe even free to move about the city when my body was able; sort of, as any of you would do, that God forbid you were in my shoes? I mean, people that have homes, they continue to work, many of them I'm learning, when they go through chemo, just missing some days when the fatigue is too much.

2.  Would getting care, including Medicaid, in the Philadelphia area be out of the question?  I have friend here that would probably be happy to have me with them the 6 months.  I'd be removed from DC, but at least I'd be able to work online.   Any ideas on how I could see if this is possible, and make arrangements?

Thank you friends for all you've done for me.

Any and all reply you can give me will be immensely helpful.  Answers?  Pointers?  Any clarity at all?

Loving u all, no matter what

CANCER MEETING WITH DOC M. AT HOWARD:

*  2 tumors, not one, were found.
*  Pathology report reveals that the larger tumor was fairly advanced, had been around for quite some time, and probably has been spreading it's off-spring around my body.
*  The spot on my liver is quite large, and concerns them.  They don't know what it is and have ordered a PET scan for me in early January.
*  They've also ordered a brain scan and that's scheduled now for Jan 12th at Howard, as I recall. 
*  I'm scheduled to meet with Doc M. Jan 15th to review test results and begin final arrangements for the chemo.
*  She spoke of a 6 months regimen - 2 week intervals, come in, get chemo, wear a pump for 2 days, get the pump removed, come back in 2 weeks, repeat....
*  If I accept the 6 month treatment my likelihood of survival is 50-60% after 5 years, and if I were to make it past that point, the likelihood is I'd survive quite a few more years as well.
*  If I refuse the treatment, so I can keep fighting in these most crucial of all weeks and months, presumably my odds of surviving and working even 5 more years goes down pretty dramatically.  Wish I had more clarity on this.

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