05.16.13 Status: At Georgetown Cancer Center for Consult...(detail)

[Spirit of Christ-mas Present to Scrooge:

"Are there no Prisons?

Are there no Workhouses,"

Scrooge's words fed back to him.  We've escaped Dicken's attempts to Humanize us for well over a century now, unscathed!]

Hopefully, and I expect, today I'll learn what I need to know to decide whether or not treatment of the cancer in my liver is the best thing for me to do in service of our progeny -  can Georgetown give me enough years, at a low enough cost to our children to make that the right investment for our kids?

I don't know of anyone that understands my need to make this decision.  Those that might, kindly, honestly, tell me things like - the money you would leave untouched would go toward the military, not toward the global neediest.  That may be true, but all I'm responsible for is what I do, not what others do.

And I think that is how it works - the only hope is to do our part, personally, individually.  There is no other solution.  There has never been, and never will be, any other solution.

Near-Pure Loving, Universal Family, Personal Responsibility. It can be mass-infectious, tho no one's yet has gone mass-viral, before the 'enviornment' mutates it into something that is non-threatening to our virulent self-centeredness - think Jesus, and cHRISTIANITY.

My expectations about accepting Treatment are up to about 50% because I've concluded from my efforts of the last 13 years that humanity en mass is way, way, way beyond hope, beyond Saving, walking dead already  - our culture/religion of self-centeredness (aided, abetted, enabled centrally by cHRISTIANITY, is way, way, way, way too entrenched to displace, in time, en mass, in time stop Ecocide.  ALL EVIDENCE INDICATES WE WILL NOT STAND FOR OUR CHILDREN.  WE WILL NOT STAND.  WE WILL PAY NEAR ANY PRICE TO NOT  STAND, TO NOT PAY THE PRICE FOR THEM TO HAVE A LIVABLE FUTURE. 

However, for as long as the human species exists there will be the possibility of individual cells, individuals, tiny groups,to be Healthy, Essentially, Massively, Fundamentally Loving, and in service of these cells (the only possible individual or collective antidote) is where I expect I'll center my every remaining breath.

And this is a much longer fight than Stopping Ecocide that I now see as a totally lost battle - never to be waged.  And the battle of supporting the one in a million Healthy Cells of Loving is what I expect to center my fight on now - Waging Loving.

HOUSING - WHAT I'M LIKELY TO DIE FROM LACK OF.  LOL. So, with an adjusted mission, if the hospital can give me enough years, at a low enough price, I'll go for it, if I can arrange housing that lets me work those 80% of days I'm not physically disabled. Yet all indications are that such housing will not be forthcoming - the corner of a DC accesible garage or basement.

I will ask Georetown, if everything else looks acceptable, if they will allow me to take the treatment while continuing my vigil in front of the Canadian Embassy, and this has always been my preference.