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10.26.2013

Cancer Update: Notes from deep in Purgatory - when your work has no support, it is worse; meds barely working, pain all over; hour hike for meds, glasses lost; what now?....

[zero energy to proof this.  maybe tomorrow.]

Cancer Update: Notes from deep in Purgatory - when your work has no support, it is worse; meds barely working, pain all over;  hour hike for meds, glasses lost; what now?....

It's been a Hell of a day - meds haven't touched my pain all day, extremely painful to eat, with near zero support (no Family) horrendous logistical Hell - like walking 6 blocks to get meds (felt like 16 miles, almost couldn't make it).

This is the first instant I've had the strength to get online for even a few moments.

God save us from the healers - LOL.  :-(  :-(  They have to pretty much kill you, to save you.  NO COMPLAINT.

I think I've heard that weekends are the most dangerous time to be sick - staff taking weekend off.  This sure is my experience.

I had an old, 'hospital floater' (no one wants her I suspect), know it all discharge nurse /  nurse in charge this morning.  Her process is to deflect every problem as something that can't be solved, saying so with ridiculously transparent, fake, authority.  I didn't have the energy or time to fight it, much.  I did get the pain med strength doubled, requiring a new script, which of course miss zero compassion did not have faxed ahead - so the hospital driver, kept waiting an add'll hour and a half, was unwilling to wait the 20 min at the pharmacy for me to get it filled, so that was a subsequent 60 minute hike from Hell.

Oh well.  Very oddly, one day is horrible, and the next seems to be better, repeat.  We'll see.

Back at CCNV Infirmary clinic - staff happy to see me - nice guys mostly.

That my work, and therefore I, have near zero Family support is a huge validation of my work. In a near totally cancer ridden body of humanity, I Stand as 100% indictment to virtually all of the cancerous practices - this will gain you support from the cancer, how?  ZERO regrets, recriminations.... It is what it is.  It will be what it will be.

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