SPDF Day 30 vlog: It is not inconceivable that in 2-4 weeks time that I'll conclude that I have wielded the Death Fast for as is long as is constructive, this time....

SPDF Day 30:  It is not inconceivable that in 2-4 weeks time that I'll conclude that I have wielded the Death Fast for as is long as  is constructive, this time....

I am unable to put my finger exactly on what it is that I am sensing this morning.  But I suspect that it is at least possible that by 2-4 weeks from now I will conclude that this death fast has provided as much benefit as it can provide at this time in 2015 and that I will be better able to serve Palestine by terminating this death fast rather than to let it run its full course.

There are a number of factors that I did not expect that have raised this prospect in my mind.  I believe my  expectations at the beginning of this I stated fairly clearly, I expected this death fast to have no impact until after it terminated me.  That's how sick I thought we were.  But I did not anticipate the aggressive , extreme , distancing that I have experience from the few people who had remained at all close to me in my life, with maybe two, possibly three exceptions .  I take this as a sign that we are even more morbidly willing to amputate anything and everything close to us or far away so we can maintain our self centered , cancerous , world killing individual, self-centered existences .

Also I must conclude that it is possible that by now whatever Palestinian Diaspora in Washington, DC has some slight idea of what I have been doing in front of the capital and now up in front of NPR until Congress gets back next week .  I must conclude that there is some slight awareness and that I must attribute some significance to the fact that there has been zero out-reach , zero support , zero encouragement , zero dialog .  Zero visibility.

I wasn't  smart enough , or maybe I realized it just wasn't my job , to take the time to anticipate how this community would react , but I do consider it now .  And I consider that this is evidence of a soul-dead Palestinian Diaspora which I did not anticipate.  It seems that they have been so infected with the western culture that they too feel that there is nothing that they would  sacrifice , gladly, their own personal well being for .

This is a level of spiritual death in relevant communities beyond what I had anticipated .

If these perceptions hold and or develop within me then they place me where I wound up in the late or middle of my prior death fast , perceiving that I was conducting the death fast in a graveyard .  Surely conducting any kind of action to inspire the action of others in a graveyard is not a good use of time .

This analogy does not hold in that there may well be an online of record of this death fast ,, which I am working diligently to provide, that could serve people in the future .  But nevertheless I am seeing indications that it is absolutely a graveyard I am conducting this in beyond even what I had understood .  And if these perceptions old within me then I may conclude that I can better serve Palestine by terminating the death fast before it terminates me , or,  maybe not ,

I could terminate the death fast today based on these perceptions but I think that would be premature .  My confidence that death fast is the only weapon to save Palestine , save any last remnants of democracy in America , stop ecocide ...  are only strengthened by these perceptions .,honor an hour.  But that my termination at this moment or 2 to 4 weeks from now would add any value to this current demonstration of the weapon has this morning arisen as a question in my mind.