***** Marriage, comments to a young friend. "Above everything else in the world am I committed to partnership with this individual as my best possible way of serving the world? Is this what my prospective partner is about as well? " I think that this is pretty close to the species universal question to discern whether the prospective marriage is on the strong foundation or not. It is the intersection of all I've studied and learned from the greats throughout history and my own experiences and observations. Yes, there are few people I know who would agree. Lol. Oh well.
The word 'lust' applies to much more than sex. For nearly all westernized women their drive to marry is 99.99% lust for security, comfort, safety, house, social access, to be loved and cared for, and children for her own gratification. For nearly all westernized men they marry for lust for sex, and to be loved, that is, desired, lusted for, appreciated, served, helped. This is what our sickest of all cultures teaches us. How would we be different?
My point is not that this is bad. I am NOT disparaging. But lust is not the basis for a long term partnership. Lust is not the basis for sustained, lifelong, joy. That would be loving, something of which we no longer understand or appreciate by the time we are in our teams in this sick world. Lusting is about me, for me and my group. Loving is about the well being of others, particularly the neediest on earth.
We are literally created by our DNA for the sole purpose of advancing the well being of the species, which means the well being of the environment, to be good and to be a force for good in the world.
I would wish for the prospective spouse to ask the question, 'Does this person have the level of integrity, unity with and devotion to humanity, to doing and being good for the world, that I see and admire in the few people throughout history?'
Finally, I think that this question could be profoundly helpful: ' in essence I am hiring an intimate partner to be as close to me as my skin, or my soul, for the next possibly 60 years. Should I hire this person? Should this person hire me? 60 years from now are we likely to be thrilled with the decision we make today. If not, for this person who I care about, and for me who I care about I should not walk down this aisle, even if it means that I never walk down the aisle. If I am worth marrying by anyone, then I love myself and life enough to serve humanity by myself if that is the best thing to do. And I know that devotion to humanity is my reason for being here, and the only path of infinite joy for any of us. That's how we were created.