To my shock I may accept the apartment that is available to me. It is a very difficult decision for me, but I have done great due diligence and if it holds that with the apartment I can serve not only me but at least regularly a dear friend with special needs, and possibly the occasional zero risk zero maintenance homeless person or true activist, then as early as the end of this week I may commit to a one year lease. I also feel, if it holds that in all likelihood I can help others directly with this apartment, then I also perceive that my second issue which is homelessness, poverty, gentrification, can be better advocated for by me if I am a person with an apartment, a normal resident of the city who was long homeless himself, as opposed to continuing as a homeless person. This is not a decision about which I am happy, or unhappy. My only desire in life is to be as helpful to the neediest with each breath, with each penny, as I possibly can be. And what I have just outlined appears to be how things are sorting out.
The thought of spending hundreds of dollars a month on me that I have not been spending is sheer agony for me. I need billions billions of dollars, quite literally, for my human family that is suffering so badly. Now with few exceptions I eat for free. One hot meal per day that I turn into two meals per day, a small supper and a cold larger meal in the afternoon. And I spend about $4 a day on coffee or an orange or a banana in some combination to morally justify using a restroom in a restaurant while I am on all day post in the free Palestine vigil at various strategic locations around Washington DC 7 days per week. Thus I am free so far to joy fully donate every penny to those who serve the needy and Palestine, those who work productively for human rights for Palestine, in support of Syrian refugees, Doctors Without Borders, etc. I am horrified by the idea of diverting even a penny from those.
If I accept the apartment it will be entirely unfurnished, literally, but for a mattress on the floor, and possibly a small refrigerator. I intend to harness the excess electricity I generate with this vehicle from the Sun for most or all of my indoor energy needs by carrying a battery to and fro. I envision beans and rice as my staple meal which is not too much different than what I have gotten in the shelter, and at sometimes I will eat at the homeless food truck and make monthly donations to the operator of that truck so that I am NOT a burden on them. So then I also minimize costs.
if this transpires, and there are a few big if's which have to do with whether or not I'll be allowed to have frequent guests, if this transpires I anticipate very substantially ramping up my advocacy for the poor, homeless, disenfranchised here in Washington. I have no illusion I'll be able to make any significant difference. But if the apartment materializes then I feel myself moving substantially to add that advocacy alongside the advocacy for Palestine. I'm not certain why within me having the apartment is so strongly linked with that move, but I feel that it is.