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My most personal Thoughts: sloving
(Start Loving, the pka for James McGinley)

The most crucial posts: *****

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EFLIUS (Exploring For Life In US): here

5.21.2016

***** My only loyalty, my entire loyalty, is to loving, in whatever species, and in whatever individual or group, I see it. This is why my loyalty is not to the human species, not any longer with.....

### My only loyalty, my entire loyalty, is to loving, in whatever species, and in whatever individual or group, I see it. This is why my loyalty is not to the human species, not any longer with what I see now that the carefully culture crafted illusions sewn into my eyes since birth have been substantially removed. This is why I have not jumped on board the Sanders campaign. He is a very loving individual, his supporters, my sisters and brothers all, with few exceptions, are not. They want more Justice for themselves. I don't begrudge them that. But that's not what loving does. His supporters are not nearly as deprived or abused, with few exceptions, as the billions on Earth who have been the victim of our Collective American excesses. My point is not to denigrate anyone. My point is to share my understanding of why to my surprise I am not jumping onboard the Sanders campaign, and other aspects of me that I find surprising but persistent. Phyllis Ann Salomone Collins Shodo Spring Kathy Green Dave Schwenk

***** I am alone, isolated, fighting alone, ( and every breath filled with joy and peace ) because 15 years ago I did what terrifies Americans, what terrifies westerners, what terrifies we over-privileged, what terrifies liberals, what terrifies activist-inos... more than anything else in the world. I gave up. I surrendered. I refused to......

***** I am alone, isolated, fighting alone, ( and every breath filled with joy and peace ) because 15 years ago I did what terrifies Americans, what terrifies westerners, what terrifies we over-privileged, what terrifies liberals, what terrifies activist-inos... more than anything else in the world. I gave up. I surrendered. I refused to fight anymore... I refused any longer to fight my heart. I refused any longer to fight my conscience. They had been nagging at me my entire disgustingly over privileged life. I at long last caved, I gave in. I found within me a vow that I have adhered to ever since. I didn't make a vow,  as I find doing such things terribly counterproductive. I found the vow in my heart and I surrender to it for the greedy Joy of it. That vow that I found there and surrender to was that I would give my life to my human and nonhuman family on Earth as best I could with every breath. That I would never again prostitute myself to the values, machines, organizations, systems of Our Sick culture for one second, not for 1 cent, regardless of the personal consequences, that I would give my life and not divert one second to earning a life for myself. If my sisters and brothers were happy to let me expire, that wasn't my business, that wasn't my concern, and I would not  divert a second to that. And with never a second thought because of the overwhelming peace and joy of that path, and because of the singular hope that that path gives, I have never looked back, only forward to the absolute joy and peace and hope of that decision, that direction, of that path. That is,  I finally said yes to what we westerners have been taught to avoid with our last breath, I said yes to heart in charge ( not to be confused with self-indulgent sentimentality ) and thereby I allowed the material world that I had been taught to Crave as a Westerner to totally disintegrate, to totally turn against me because of the path that I walk. Again, never for one breath have I looked back because of the overwhelming joy and peace, every breath, and extreme pain of the suffering world that is my fuel, of that path. I gave into truth Force. I gave in to soulforce. I surrendered to my heart. I have worked assiduously to keep my heart in charge ever since and with very very very few moments of error, I have succeeded. It is heaven, the heaven that has always been written of, and the heaven not one in a million find. But it is the heaven that every true activist lives in by whatever words, or no words at all. The one in a Million. Obviously I use every neuron in my head, infinitely more than most. Obviously I find physical strength despite my stage 4 cancer and age that many people can't imagine. That's what the heart in charge does. I use my head. I use my flesh. More particularly my heart, that I deliberately and scrupulously keep in charge, uses  both my head and my flesh to the fullest. But I never make the mistake of letting them,  my head or flesh, be in charge, only my heart, with no credit to me. Finally, after 45 years of having my head and flesh in charge, I surrendered, I gave up, to my heart, my soul, my conscience. My heart has been my loving, immensely harsh, unimaginably wise master ever since. And so I am physically alone, and certainly will remain physically alone, and relatively materially impoverished, as a consequence, a price that I pay every day without a shred of regret, for the greedy, infinite,  joy and peace of Heart of it.

### Jane Goodall is correct, there is still much worth saving, but that does not include the human species, although it does include a few individual humans.

### Jane Goodall is correct, there is still much worth saving, but that does not include the human species, although it does include a few individual humans.

5.19.2016

***** Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason for denial, not the primary reason. Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason that we limit how much ugliness we are willing to see on Facebook, how much unpl......

***** Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason for denial, not the primary reason. Avoiding unpleasantness is not the reason that we limit how much ugliness we are willing to see on Facebook, how much unpleasantness we allow to become Central in so-called activism or in the nature of the so-called activism we have been willing to practice these last forty years or so. The primary function of denial is not to avoid unpleasantness, it is to avoid becoming loving, it is to avoid Gandhi's Truth Force, to avoid what happens when Awful Truth makes it past our denial system and hits our heart. It activates our heart, it hijacks our nervous system, and turns us near irresistibly into Insanely Humane (INSHE) Warrior antiviolent Servants of righteousness, Servants of what is Right, Servants of what our human family most needs of us, what all of our fellow life forms need of us. God forbid.... So, as the central one of our many contributions to the extermination of all life on Earth, we f****** baby boomers, our central contribution has been the activism-ino-ism of the last 40 years which is so careful to be sure that we conduct ourselves in a way that it is attractive, it is fun, it is Pleasant, it is something that people want to do, to 'join' ( a social club with a thin veneer of activism )... thereby scrupulously and absolutely avoiding bringing online truth Force, the heart, soul Force, loving... the only force in the universe that could overcome the largest mercenary force that Earth has ever seen. Brilliant. Murder.

5.17.2016

***** I want a world where we give ourselves, give our lives, to the least of these, not where we continue to prostitute ourselves to the most greedy of these, so that we can become among the most greedy of these.

***** I want a world where we give ourselves, give our lives, to the least of these, not where we continue to prostitute ourselves to the most greedy of these, so that we can become among the most greedy of these.

5.16.2016

The pursuit of justice is a wonderful breeding ground, a wonderful excuse, for hatred among those doing the pursuit toward whoever their targets are. The arrogance, hatred, hypocrisy in current 2016 so-called activism........

The pursuit of justice is a wonderful breeding ground, a wonderful excuse, for hatred among those doing the pursuit toward whoever their targets are. The arrogance, hatred, hypocrisy in current 2016 so-called activism is throwing this in my face as I so wish it was not. Without love, it is hatred. If anyone is being dehumanized, discriminated against against, victimized, it is not loving, just more of the same old hatred. Not Revolution. More of the same. Just an attempted change in who is doing the oppressing and who is oppressed.

***** Climate activists taunting the police, my sisters and brothers all. I want that world of your hatred and taunts toward the police, even less than I want the world of climate change. I'd.......

Climate activists taunting the police, my sisters and brothers all. I want that world of your hatred, nastiness, immaturity, Tantrums, Self righteousness, hipocricy, over privilege, and taunts toward the police, even less than I want the world of climate change. I'd rather see we humans go extinct as we are doing, and as we will continue to do if this is the best activism you can find to do, and let the rest of the species get a chance to live without us. This, despite the fact that there are few people alive that have offered and paid a higher personal price to stop global warming than I.

I'm quite sure that 9 months from now I will be moving out of this apartment either onto the streets or back into a homeless shelter. This has been a terrific expenditure , the rent I pay every......

I'm quite sure that 9 months from now I will be moving out of this apartment either onto the streets or back into a homeless shelter. This has been a terrific expenditure , the rent I pay every month, to give me a firm footing to launch into my advocacy for the underclass in Washington DC which is taking roughly half of my time now. As I knew, there were nonprofits that would not work with me constructively as a homeless person, that allow me to gain entry now to get a foothold as someone with an address. But when this lease is up, which I cannot break without forfeiting the monies due during the 12 months , I will move out on the basis that I have less right given my lifelong disgusting over privileged, that I have less right to this property than do thousands of people on waiting lists in this city. And on the basis that I want and need the money that goes into the rent every month for more for my sisters, brothers, children around the world and in DC far more than I need it for me.

I make any and every penny that I have scream as I pinch it. Every penny that I spend on me is a penny that I do not have to spend on those far needier than I. My current food situation , vegan now that.......

I make any and every penny that I have scream as I pinch it. Every penny that I spend on me is a penny that I do not have to spend on those far needier than I. My current food situation , vegan now that I control what I eat, is 95% vegan. Thank goodness, as I have wanted to be since my college days. Expense wise, I consume almost entirely the expiring food from a profoundly kind coffee shop... pasta, lentils, chickpeas, occasionally a healthy salad. They ask nothing in return. They never have. But I Delight in giving the staff a tip that I think they find fairly large every couple of months. Beyond that for fruit and vegetables I make modest expenditures two places. Farmers markets, I greatly Delight in the supporting their work. And coffee shops and restaurants where I use the restroom when I am doing my work in this vehicle around Washington DC. Whether or not they would ask I do not like taking resources where I don't make a contribution so I will buy typically a couple of oranges or a couple of bananas or cooked vegetables for a couple of dollars.

5.15.2016

***** I would infinitely rather be hated for what I say today, than for what I did not say today, 10 years from now.

*****  I would infinitely rather be hated for what I say today, than for what I did not say today, 10 years from now.