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2.04.2017

I believe that I love goodness, that I love loving, enough to suffer and die for it.

I believe that I love goodness, that I love loving, enough to suffer and die for it.

Trump is simply the obvious part of the war by the 1% now on the rest of this. Elysium is no longer a fantasy in the future. Hunger Games is no longer a.....

Trump is simply the obvious part of the war by the 1% now on the rest of this. Elysium is no longer a fantasy in the future. Hunger Games is no longer a fantasy in the future. Everyone that does not go down quietly either into the Matrix or into the cocentration camps will be destroyed in body. Our option besides being sheep is to refuse to have our spirit destroyed before its time. I hope, I suspect, that I will so refuse. The rumors spin around this camp. For all any of us know there will be a brutal sweep any moment and yet it could not take place for weeks, we don't know. We are down to a skeleton crew. People are working 20 and 30 hour days literally. Point being the choice is between leaving, curling up in balls of fear due to all the likelihood and rumors, or simply to serve as a decent human being,  Manning the compost toilets, washing dishes, cooking meals, splitting firewood, hauling firewood, keeping the water from freezing, cleaning up the camp so that the water is not polluted when the floods come, moving or preparing to move in anticipation of the flood..... Most of the people I see, the spiritual core, are making this latter choice,   simply to be an unarmed, undefended, under attack, decent human member of this small local community and of the community that comprises all creation. I believe that for those of spirit this is really the only choice,  for each of us here in the camp, for each of us on 2017 earth. There's no time left to hold onto self-preservation spiritually. What energy we have simply needs to go into being decent human beings moment-by-moment. Only creator taking Mercy in some unimaginable Miracle will Stave off our individual destruction. And I think the only sanity, the only joy, is in surrendering to that truth and even embracing it because it is truth. James

Who is psychotic? Trump or we tens of millions of Americans that live normal lives while he totally destroys our children's future?

Who is psychotic? Trump or we tens of millions of Americans that live normal lives while he totally destroys our children's future?

Depression is highly adaptive, which is why it is available to us as a species. If it doesn't kill you you grow, is true in my experience. At least temporarily, and......

Depression is highly adaptive, which is why it is available to us as a species. If it doesn't kill you you grow, is true in my experience. At least temporarily, and probably it will continue to lift, I am emerging from the darkness. Depression properly experienced is a massive slow down by the nervous system alerting the user that the information, assumptions, status on which one has been operating are subject to extreme question,  and may need radical revision. Depression attempts to force all this to be considered. Many weeks ago I reported that for the first time, well, the second or third time, in my lifetime I have not felt like a complete alien. That I was among many spiritual Jedi by whatever name here at Standing Rock. My role was to try and encourage their flame to grow even brighter. The vast majority of what appeared to me to be spiritual Jedi have left the camp for reasons that I think are understandable but not necessarily good. I had not adjusted my role. The answers that have come to me in these last several days as to what my role should be equate to moving from being kindling to help more wood Catch Fire to resigning myself to being a spark, a match, a coal that aspires to remain hot in the event that tinder or dry wood emerges sometime soon,  or in the distant future. This is a huge adjustment. But I am already making it. And as I said, the profound Darkness seems to be lifting.

2.02.2017

I'm in a profoundly dark place. Psychologically. Spiritually. I find....

I'm in a profoundly dark place. Psychologically. Spiritually. I find almost no Spirit of loving left here Standing Rock. Already I have found almost none in the world. Such incredibly Dark Times. Been through this sort of personal darkness before. Each time I have made it through. I suspect I will this time. I never know how it will happen. I certainly do not know this time. I suspect it will have to do with attempting to be good, anyway. To be loving, anyway.

2.01.2017

We are completely unarmed here. In that sense we are completely peaceful. The extent of the weapons used, and I disapprove of this, the extent of the weapons used has been taunting.....

We are completely unarmed here. In that sense we are completely peaceful. The extent of the weapons used, and I disapprove of this, the extent of the weapons used has been taunting and snowballs, and destroying razor wire on disputed,  stolen, land which is protecting an immoral pipeline that is part of the war on all creation. There are strong Rumours that we will be attacked tonight by Cowboys. And if not tonight soon. The local police have pubically bemoaned the fact that there are locals that they cannot control. There are locals that they inflame and will not control. Think Bull Connor during the Civil Rights Movement. The threat of this and the actuality are hugely racist against natives. I am not inclined to run from this. I may have finally lost my hope of saving the world, end of the world being safe too, forever. But I suspect I will never lose my will to stand against Injustice.

1.31.2017

When I try to check in with Creator, when, in my imagination, I try to understand what Creator is thinking, what I get is that Creator is through with us as a species. We've had seven.......

When I try to check in with Creator, when, in my imagination, I try to understand what Creator is thinking, what I get is that Creator is through with us as a species. We've had seven thousand years and all we do is torture each other. All we do is hate. The exceptions prove the rule. Creator is done with us. Creator will not exterminate us. Creator will simply let us do it. Creator takes no joy in that. But Creator is tired. The experiment has failed.

I have used all of what little abilities I have to try and facilitate a world-changing stand at Standing Rock. I see conclusive evidence......

I have used all of what little abilities I have to try and facilitate a world-changing stand at Standing Rock. I see conclusive evidence that I have totally failed. I came here perfectly willing to die in the hopes that my contribution joined with others could be a spark to ignite the world. I see not the tiniest hope of that. No one's fault. Our culture simply does not produce the people that can do that. I plan to leave this disputed land as early as possible although that is substantially limited by my fragile vehicle that has hardly any range in the cold. If I had a car I would likely be gone tomorrow. With my vehicle it likely will take as long as a week.

Am I hearing Creator say to me, "Let It Go?"

Am I hearing Creator say to me, "Let It Go?"

1.30.2017

There is only one revolutionary Act. It is rarely executed, rarely attempted, by an individual let alone a group. It can......

There is only one revolutionary Act. It is rarely executed, rarely attempted, by an individual let alone a group.  It can have an infinite variety of forms. The only revolutionary Act is to spend one's breath being as good as one's imagination, conscience, Soul, heart... and as examples throughout history, show us that we can be. Everything that is not that is more of the same and again can take an infinite variety of forms. If I imagine that there is an all-wise, all loving, creator of us all, as I do imagine, when I have the presence of mind to keep myself in the Gaze of that creator it very much helps me behave in the direction I have just described. And so far in even very trying times it gives me the psychological peace described in the twenty-third psalm,  and the joy that can only be described as psychological heaven despite whatever material Horrors May in fact be the environment. I suspect that almost all of the great creative religious Geniuses such as Jesus, Buddha, and others, were trying to help us find this way. That is, I think there is nothing original or clever in what I'm saying.  "Thy kingdom comes, as thy will is done, on Earth, as we would do in heaven."

1.29.2017

If Europe and the rest of the world does not launch all out non-violent war on the United States they are as f****** stupid as we are.

If Europe and the rest of the world does not launch all out non-violent war on the United States they are as f****** stupid as we are.