[Reply to a note from a dear friend, an elementary school teacher.]
Hi! What a nice note. It is always a ray of sunshine when I hear
from you.
Oh, how I adored sledding as a kid. Did u? One of the many times I'm sure
my folks hoped I'd kill myself, I should have, the insane mtns I went down.
I'm sure your kids will enjoy it mightily.
There is a chance Pr. O is just a corporate shill from the git go. I may
never know. My guess is we couldn't have a greater ally, cept oursevles,
and that's out of the question. I think he is calculating everything he does
to win the house and keep the senate in 2014. Without that there are
no bold strokes he can take, and only bold strokes will save earth and
democracy now. But it still comes back to the people, even then he'd need
us unviolently risking life and limb, and we've all got our infinite excuses.
So, I'll probably never know about him.
My depression is extremely light, recently; amazing, given my view
of the impending, virtually certain Cataclysms - Ecocide, Fascism. There
are fleeting moments when it almost feels like a relief to be free of the
desperate fight to avert them; but mostly the gloom, the other horror
lingers. And Life is fighting for all you are worth for the least of these,
and it is more difficult for me to see how to do that, but I'm making progress -
I'll encourage those with the inkling, to avoid the cruelty of bringing
babies onto a sinking Titanic, and I'll do what I can to learn of, and shepherd
the young, well, anyone, toward off-Empire living - there are pioneers
of this, I'll learn of them, their ways, their whereabouts... and try and
help others in that direction.
My study of the mainstream scholarship is that this is near exactly where
the man Jesus found himself, odd, but True. So, I'm slogging through some
immensely scholarly works on the Historical Jesus by Dominic Crossan -
really arduous, but oddly, in the midst of all my crisis, I think a deep understanding
of the small sliver of History we have on him will be useful to me before
I move on per the above.
The last chemo was Monday. I've slept as much as 21 hours per day,
tapering down to 14 hpd today. The next 4 or 5 day will be tough as I
struggle to find where my new sleep patterns are - rest is the most important
thing to my work - and for months now, my body seems to refuse to
stay in deep sleep for more than moments. I may accept a sleep study
at Georgetown, that has been offered, if once I feel clear of chemo effects,
I still can't stabilize things.
The symptoms that had me worried about parkinson's disease have
lessened with the vita B12 shots I've been getting, but they still remain.
Started several months of major dental work, a decade overdue,
last week.
At some point they'll need to put me under, I believe, to remove my
port - so it ain't over till it's over.
In this huge building that has been my home these last 6 months or so
is an area called 1 south - 150 or so near all african american men over
50, and I'd be eligible to go there - no fee, one meal per day, fairly unrestricted
access tho there is a 2am be in by, and few days away if any without losing
your bed. In this huge area are mostly bunk beds in sections, some with
more bed bugs than others, and then an area for the 'needier' that is
single beds, hospital beds I think, cleaner, quieter. A 'friend,' fellow my
age, lives there, the ADA section, he is no needier physically than I, so there
is some leeway. I think it is ADA for me, or back on the streets 7/24. I'm
ok with either, but I'll give 1 South, however it is offered to me, a try, I expect.
I'll try my best to angle for the ADA section, but I don't hold out much hope.
I suspect I'll access Soc Sec in the next month or so and, if I do, start
banking all but coffee money (2-3 times a week to 'thank' this awesome
FH Bakery folks that are such a Godsend to me) and that Wifi- no sense
you picking that up if I'm getting SS. I'll let you know.
Well, that's all for now.
Aren’t we raised to revere 
